| Table of Contents |
| Pennsyl-tucky: A Natural History |
3 |
| The Fall Day When Everything Changed |
7 |
| Storybored |
11 |
| My Short Career as a Murderer |
13 |
| Zombie Pizza |
20 |
| A Gloomy Dinner, Well Lit |
27 |
| The Snottery |
33 |
| When My Son Came to Visit |
44 |
| Examples of Feedback |
51 |
| Business Lessons |
66 |
| Talking Backwards |
72 |
| Dog Eye |
75 |
| Conversion |
80 |
| Clown Truck |
82 |
| My Trip to Infinite Time |
86 |
| The Underdog |
93 |
| Chocolate Covered Ants |
97 |
| The Standoff |
100 |
| Bleeding Art |
104 |
| Lunch for Eight |
106 |
| Mammals |
113 |
| Neighbots |
119 |
| A Crime Scene |
124 |
| Miscommunicants |
126 |
| Disgusting Dogs |
129 |
| Too Afraid To Leave? |
131 |
| Dragon Bones |
134 |
| Left Alone With a Slide Rule |
138 |
| Daydreaming of a Beautiful Evening |
140 |
| I Hate Dogs |
143 |
| Land Under the Sea That Time Forgot |
147 |
| Finding Poppy |
155 |
| The Moment I Fell in Love |
161 |
| Free Writes |
167 |
| Postword |
196 |
